The Internet According to Etarran

So, I spend a lot of time on the internet (recently even more than usual) and as such, I consider myself to be something of an expert on it, insofar as such a ridiculous claim can possibly be true.

One of the main problems with the internet is its anonymity: it is far too easy to forget that the people you are interacting with are, in fact, real people, and as such, deserve to be accorded at least a modicum of respect. Exacerbating this is the fact that there can be no real consequences for misbehaviour; no matter how terrible you act, the internet will protect you behind its screen of faceless text.

And so, being the polite and kindly person that I am, I thought I would present my own personal version of internet etiquette. I'm curious, in fact, as to whether you will agree with the rules I have worked out for myself.

So, without further ado, here it is: The Internet According to Etarran.

General Rules

1. Real Names Are For No. The internet is a scary place: it brings you in contact with the best and worst of humanity, and sometimes, that makes it very dangerous. There is a reason the internet-safety courses (stupid as they are) stress keeping your personal information offline: you never know who will end up finding it.

2. Real Life Is For No. This is, if anything, more important than the first. It's not only that someone may find your emotion-wracked diatribe and in some way use it against you, it's that the people it is about will undoubtedly read it. The most insidious quality of text-based communication is that it makes you much, much ruder than you are. Even the most innocent of things can lead to terrible misunderstandings, and so keeping the less-innocent things clear of The Great Big Truck is paramount. (There are cases where this rule is okay to break. Under no circumstances can this one and number one be broken at the same time.)

3. Language Is Your Friend. After all, one of the main dangers of the internet is miscommunication. It takes less than a second to read and edit what you've written before you send or post it. Try it. Spelling, grammar, and punctuation: the better yours is, the more people will listen to you.

4. Do Not Get Involved. Do you want to be this person? The internet is sometimes so shocking, so horrible, that you feel you have to reach out and stop it. Racism, Religious fanatics, Anti-religious fanatics, hatred, ignorance, and everything else you can possibly imagine: all of these are everywhere in the nihilistic soupy froth of human failure and brilliance that we pipe into our eyes (Often all in the same YouTube comment). Sometimes someone is so wrong, you just want to stop them. Resist the temptation! It will only end in tears.

These four rules are pretty much what guides my internet usage, insofar as I am able to conform to them. Am I missing anything? Am I dead wrong? Tell me.

Another thing I find is that people often mistake the level of formality of the internet medium they are using. And so, a handy list:

1. Blog posts. A blog is not a blackboard, where the posts are erased as soon as they're written. These are your thoughts. You should try to do them justice. (Okay, frequently guilty).

2. Email. Email is slightly less formal than a hard copy letter, but it is not a chat message. Remember, the people receiving your email will have it forever. If that doesn't scare you, it should.

3. Forum Posts. Forum posts and email are actually equal in formality. While a forum post doesn't stick around forever, it still exists for about three or four years, and in the time it is online, a lot more people see it than do an email. As such, think about what you write, don't be a jerk, and everything will be fine.

4. Facebook and other single-thread message boards. These aren't quite fora, but they aren't quite not, and so are difficult to classify. Still, the easy rule to apply is "How long will people see it?" Since the answer is "It could easily be a year or so." I would exercise a certain amount of caution. Note that private messages in these media (And on fora), are the same as email.

5. MSN, IRC, and other chat clients. You should still spell properly, but what you say will be gone in five minutes, so it doesn't matter as much how it looks. Just don't be fooled into thinking it's a real conversation.

6. In-game text and voice chat. spd + style -. MEDIC!

So, that ends The Internet According to Etarran. Do you agree? Disagree? Hate me? Sound off!